something to talk about

well, here are my thoughts, since i might as well give them. i believe what i said, in that ultimately i do not think it's possible to make anyone feel better about events that are not under their control. you can most certainly give advice, thoughts, hugs to a person regarding events under their control. it may be appreciated. it may not be. but when events aren't under anyone's control, there's nothing to be done to really make a situation better. because honestly, when events are out of your control, you have to focus on what you can control about the situation, and work on that. but the out of control stuff sometimes requires introspection. and that has to be done alone. of course people want to vent sometimes, and if they do, that's where i come in (if i want to make someone feel better). but for the most part all i really ever do is smile, and listen if necessary.

i guess that's because i know how i am when these things happen. i don't particularly like being hung up on things that aren't within my control. there's almost no point. i also don't particularly like being mopey. no point to that either. and most of the time, if i am mopey, i don't like to talk about it, because it will most surely pass within a few hours, and i would rather not wallow. i would rather process and move on. so i like to handle these things with my own self. if i would like to talk about something, i will bring it up to a friend. but if i'm not talking, it's because i don't want to. because it's a problem no one can solve. because i don't want anyone to solve it. because i want to think about it for a few minutes, become at peace with the situation, and get on with my life.

but that is just how i react, and everyone is different. i think, in general, though, that if people want to talk about something they will make it clear, and when they don't, that they will also make it clear. and that it is definitely not up to me, regardless of what i think, to decide when a person should be ready to talk about things, but that i am happy to be able to be there for those close to me when they need to.