Sunday, February 24, 2008

I Bought Schug and Shoko

First off, Koshermart is basically how I imagine heaven. It's all kosher. It has gummie bears. There's all this Israeli-brand junk and spicing and cheesy Jew music. Maimonides had this whole theory about incorporeality and learning Torah once you ascend, but in view of the sheer high I got just from buying chocoloate spread today I'd say the facts are backing me up just a bit more.

On the stupid side of things, if you ever do go to Koshermart, don't do what we did (Metro, walk there, cab back, get stuck on the Metro, cab back from Dupont after dropping the glass dressing bottles, spend the remainder of the day vaguely stinking of ginger).

Make friends with someone who's mobilely upward. Use a damned car.

Help the Culinarily Challenged

We're trying to make a falafel and shawarma Shabbat meal for next week. Where do we go for the spices and necessary other components?

Sometimes all-kosher all-the-time NY has its advantages.

There wouldn't happen to be a Middle Eastern place with a good selection of hechshers around here?

Friday, February 22, 2008

and on the dress there would be a picture of a beautiful woman

ah, last night was lovely -- margaritas at cactus with good company, which is one of my most favourite things in the world to do. after a few days' relaxation in california, it was good to be back and catch up with everyone, and especially nice to see h and tay, since tay has just moved up here (finally!). of course this led to lots of catching up and h told us this wonderful story about how she had a conversation with her little four-year-old cousin this weekend, which went something like this:

h: if you could have any dress to wear, what would it look like?
cousin: well, it would tie at my neck, and it would be pink, and on the front there would be a picture of a beautiful woman. and i would have a sweater to go with it, and on the front of it there would be a picture of a beautiful man and a beautiful woman, together.

clearly, the child has a future in fashion design. but that got me to thinking, because it is really a very nice idea for a dress (even though i can't make the dress, because that would be stealing her idea, although maybe i could make the dress and then give it to her and she would be happy?). well, i don't know how one even gets prints onto a dress like that. i imagine i could figure it out; we'll see. i have been meaning to learn something useful like how to make nice clothes.

anyway, i was thinking about it more today, and i think i would want this one to be the beautiful woman on my dress. but if i can't have her on a dress, maybe i'll get a framed poster for my room? i am starting to think i am going to need a whole wall devoted to lichtenstein and warhol. at least it'll mesh well...

New and Improved

I only just figured out that A and j could post separately if the blog was arranged correctly. So that's what's happening.

The rule is now this: all future posts should have the initial of the author at the end. All the old posts have my initial at the end because they were written under my profile, but can be distinguished because only I use capitalization in my writing. And of course, because we have completely different personalities and writing styles, but I wanted to keep the differences simple.

Clarity is good in life. :)

When I have something more useful to write about, you'll all be the first to know.

Cheers -

-A

Saturday, February 16, 2008

From My Grandmother in Jerusalem...

The President of Iran was wondering who to invade when his telephone rang.

"This is Mendel in Tel Aviv. We're officially declaring war on you!"

"How big is your army?" the president asked.
"There's me, my cousin Moishe, and our pinochle team!"

"I have a million in my army," said the president.
"I'll call back!" said Mendel.

The next day he called. "The war's still on! We have now a bulldozer, Goldblatt's tractor. Plus the canasta team!"
"I have 16,000 tanks, and my army is now two million."
"Oy gevalt!", said Mendel. "I'll call back."
He phoned the next day. "We're calling off the war."
"Why?", asked the president.
"Well," said Mendel, "we've all had a little chat, and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Awwwwwwwwww!

She exclaims as she melts into a pile of maternal goop...

Click!

By the way, just like flyfishing, golf, curling, and speed-eating contests, what you're going to see is not a sport.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

On a Darker Note

The next generation of 'networking' technology has arrived.

Uninhibited peeps with exibitionist tendencies, meet Gypsii. Gypsii, meet uninhibited peeps with exhibitionist tendencies. Because if you're silly enough to post your particulars on the Internet, you're silly enough do the near tech equivalent of radio-tagging yourself.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

On a Lighter Note

Steve Martin does magic. With his pants.

It's a classic.

Just to Decompress

I've spent all day researching radical Islam and terrorism for a project at work. Doing this type of stuff used to get me hyped up on growing up to do something big in the way of protecting the world and my friends and family. Now it's just tiring and depressing.

Don't know what exactly changed, but there are days when I wouldn't mind being much more 'immature'. I'd like to think that the root cause is just a lack of energy, but after having dosed myself on caffeine and sugar all day, that is looking less than likely...

By the way, Tom Lantos z"tl, who I cited to in an earlier post, died yesterday. He held a lot of the wrong positions, in my view, but he vociferously defended what he believed in and has left his mark on the United States Congress. From penniless Holocaust camp survivor to Chairman of the House Committee on Foreign Affairs. He managed to ruffle a lot of feathers, but his passion and his wit will be missed. With any luck, there will be room for me and other Morlockish garage office staff at the memorial service on Thursday. I'll let ya know how that goes.

J has admitted she is as weird as I am in the post below. I just want that noted and re-noted for the record. ;-)

Monday, February 11, 2008

fine and dandy

okay, so today was awesome. we pulled out an incredible last-second win over 'nova (actually, if you want to get technical, last 0.1 second win) which was just AMAZING to be present for. oh, j-wal, will you marry me?

and on another note, today b asked me in corporations if i was doing a book report on andy warhol. this is mostly because i have recently decided to get back in touch with my love of andy warhol, which chose to manifest itself in my surfing through artwork during the break in corps. pure proof that i am just as weird as a, though possibly in a different way.

this may have been prompted by my current obsession with the dandy warhols. mcn says my life can't be like a dandy warhols song because i'm not hopped up on the h. i have to think about that some. for the record, i am not hopped up on the h. however, we did determine last weekend that sugar seems to have a similar effect on me.

i want my andy warhol posters back. i bought some from the national gallery a couple of years ago and now my brother has them and i do not think he is using them. they say things that i like on them:

the idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.

the world fascinates me.

i think everybody should like everybody.

art is what you can get away with.

on saturday, mcn said to me: "nobody ever accused you of being normal, did they?"

no, they didn't, and i'm glad of it.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

"There Is No Day Sex Monkey Nut!"

Someone was talking to me today about relationships. There was a point where he got very emphatic, and I heard him proclaim: "There is no day sex monkey nut!"

In some small amount of shock, I sort of blinked for a bit before deciding that I would respond with, "Indeed, that is a valid complaint." Which makes no sense, but therefore is precisely the type of thing I would say.

Then I though a bit harder, because there was no way in hell he had actually said that. So it took a few extra seconds of stunned silence, but finally I got it: "There is no deus ex machina!"

At which point, I proudly replied with, "Indeed, that is a valid complaint," which still made no sense, but on the scale of things the world was so much more coherent to me than it had been just a few seconds ago that it didn't really matter. Accomplishment is a relative thing.

You see what J has to put up with?

Doubt you can really top this story, but if anyone else has a slightly ridiculous broken telephone anecdote they'd like to share, please do. You can write it, or chance things and tell me by spoken word. :)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

step up 3: if you're into it

sometimes, i have inspired moments, and i had one today. i'm not sure if you all are fans of flight of the conchords (if you aren't, you should be), but there's this great little song called "if you're into it" which is just amazing. and since my friend r has a crush on this guy, whom she attempts to woo by busting a fly move, i modified the lyrics a little so that she'll have something to sing during the dance routine....

r:
if you want me to,
i could dance 'round for you
if i only knew
that's what you're into

j:
you and her, her and you
if that's what you're into
her dancin' 'round around you
you're watchin' her, yeah you're there too

r:
and if you want me to, i will step up on a car for you
i will step up on a car for you
if that's what you're into

j:
how 'bout her doin' moves
steppin' up like step up 2
steppin' up in front of you
is that what you'd wanna view?

r:
if it's cool with you
i'll let you do some dancin' too
we could hip hop for two
if that's what you're into

j:
is that what you're into?
her and you, dancin' too?
that's what she's prepared to do
is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?

r:
and then maybe later
we can show our fly moves to a hater
take it to the hood if you're feeling antsy
do you think that might be what you fancy?

j:
dancin' round with fly moves
showin' haters that you're coo'
bein' fly, bein' coo'
we heard that's what you're into

r:
then on our next date
you could be my dance mate
i don't know if jules is keen to
but maybe she could bust a move too

j:
how 'bout you and two girls
bustin' moves, you, r and jules
dancin' with two chicks, bein' coo'
well, that's if jules's into it too

r:
all the things i'd do
things i'd do for you
if i only knew
that's what you're into

no, i don't really know where that came from. but i can tell you that r and i have an entire movie plot now based on this song, and since i will be in LA this summer, we plan on pitching it to the hollywood bigwigs. we're going to be rich and famous. the next damon and affleck, if you will. but we promise not to let the fame go to our heads. we remember what it was like to be the little guy too.

Take Me To Your Leader. Now.

For all you fine folks who have seen me rubbing at my chestbone over the past day or so and maybe grimacing a bit, I promise you that it was anything but obscene. There's a painful spot right off the chestbone and the cause is apparently tendonitis. OF THE FREAKING CHEST.

I thought that was only supposed to happen to my elbows after a frenzied game of tennis. Which I don't play because it's a sport involving physical coordination. So basically tendonitis and I should never have had any association. AAAAAAAGH.

Full disclosure: it's a fairly small, focused, inflammation concentrated around the sternum and not the entire ribcage. Really though, this little parade of horribles is starting to get just a tad ridiculous.

Whoever is responsible, I'd like to speak to their manager, please. Pronto.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Blah...

Having just finished typing up book notes on a mega-IP assignment (note to self: next time don't leave the typing for the night before and do the reading two nights before), I'm finally peeling myself off the floor and into bed.
And having caught up on the Super Tuesday results, basically all I can say is in the title to this post. It's not like I wanted anyone in particular to win, but I can't say I'm happy with who did emerge victorious. Can someone explain where the charisma is for Hillary? I'm not getting down on her, this is an honest inquiry. It really feels like she calculates every nuance in her speech, though she's bad enough at it that it comes across. As for Obama, I don't like him politics and policy-wise, but it's pretty easy to see how he could draw votes - he's an accomplished guy with good looks, a nice voice, excellent speaking ability, and skills with the crowd. I don't really believe he's any different than anyone else, but when he's speaking, he does allow me to think that for a few brief minutes. 'Inspiration' is not necessarily the ingredient for a successful next presidential term, but if it was, he'd certainly have the credentials. This massive upswell in support for Hillary baffles me, and it can't all be due to the fact that Bill is on her side. Or that she's a she and not a he.
Admittedly the most recent irritation is small - she claims to have been really concerned about the Superbowl and elated when the Giants won. Please, lady. I'd be surprised if you could define the term touchdown. There's also the fact that I've never seen her smile once where her eyes didn't open way wide before she began to grin. It really seems like an orchestrated movement, each go around. This may be a feature distinctive to her face, in which case I apologize for what might be an insensitive observation. Somebody explain the charisma to me.

Don't get me started on the McCain win. All day I've been hearing about how wonderful he is because he's got an adopted daughter from a foreign country and he's a war hero. Excellent, I'll nominate him for Time Man of the Year; I have no objection to that. But being a naval aviator, being a former POW, being a caring and kind individual... those are all good things, but they are NOT necessarily portents of a good presidency. I respect McCain's vast contributions to the country, both in his youth, and later on as a participant in the Senate. However some of his more liberal policies and his increasingly brash and abrasive attitude on the campaign trail have been major turnoffs. Those things, combined with his age and lack of energizing speaking ability have sort of left me at less than lukewarm.
Surprisingly, Ron Paul turned out to be an appealing candidate, at least in his domestic policy. The foreign policy is entirely misdirected and misunderstood, and if implemented, would have disastrous consequences for the country. So I guess his fizzling, essential non-candidacy at this point isn't entirely bad, but there is a small part of me that is disappointed.
Huckabee surprised a lot of people tonight... McCain made sure to say good things about him... I wonder what kind of ticket is brewing over at the GOP...
Romney-wise, I think he's had his day and lost it. Given the results of today that seems like a fairly non-controversial statement, but does anyone else have any thoughts on that?
The observations got a whole lot shorter and more inane as I realized how tired I am. Sleep now. Good night, all.

let the nailbiting commence

more on politics from me. come on, i go to georgetown, which means that my two spectator sports of choice are hoyas basketball (go hoyas!!!! here's knowing we'll bag our own super tuesday win against USF tonight) and the primaries.

the early exits have obama winning georgia, which brings a smile to my face as i wallow in agricultural subsidies (why am i wallowing in ag subsidies at 7.15pm, you ask? oh, the lovely WTO...)

all right, one down, 21 more to go.

but of course, this is shaping up to be the most obnoxiously protracted primary season since who knows when, so it doesn't all end tonight. yet, somehow, i'm praying for a miracle. especially in my home state...

okay, enough politispeak. here's something a little more lighthearted to chew on (did i mention that i dislike the pats almost as much as i dislike the red sox?).

Baruch Dayan Emet.

I guess. Somehow blessings seem highly inappropriate, but the Jew manual says this is what you do.

Yes, I'm a little bitter. Most people involved or even tangentially so probably are.



On another note, I'm loving J's long post.

Monday, February 4, 2008

gobama!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on the eve of super tuesday, i think i should deliver on my promised increased volume of political posts. this was prompted by a conversation with s about why i voted obama in the primaries and why i really really hope he will be our general election candidate and next president. now, i am not going to turn this into a "hate on hillary" post. but hopefully i will be able to sway a few of you who are busily postmarking your absentees or getting ready to head off to the polls tomorrow to vote for my guy. in fact, since politics is all about "messaging," i'll play like the politicians and give you my top three reasons to gobama tomorrow, and in the general.

1. the change candidate. okay, i am going to have to qualify this one. after 5 years of living inside the beltway, i have to tell you that i don't think being a washington "insider" is such a bad thing. realistically, any serious candidate, in order to be "ready on day one," needs to have a good understanding of the district's bureaucracy and connections that will make it possible to move policy along at a pace faster than a snail's crawl. but there's a reason that so many people have a problem with the "insider."

i'd submit that the problem isn't the knowledge of the bureaucracy or connections to it -- these things are necessary to function in washington, and if a candidate doesn't have them upon setting up shop at 1600 pennsylvania, he or she definitely will by the end of four years in office. the problem is the paternalistic nature of these connections and their manifestation to the general public. i am inspired by obama because he has convinced me that as an individual, i matter to the political system, and that, beyond that, even though the political elite controls so much out of necessity, if i speak with other citizens, i really do have the power to effect change.

that's the nice, sweet, heartwarming reason to love obama. but it goes a little deeper than that for me. hillary's campaign is, to say the least, a little nixonian (there's a great economist article on the subject that i wish i could link to here, but alas, i cannot). and while i understand the strategic need to stay on message, which is most easily achieved by controlling everything that every staffer says, there's a certain amount of information that i as a voting citizen feel entitled to. when the campaign denies me that information (ex. won't tell me who the environmental policy advisor is -- the only one out of 9 presidential campaigns that i contacted to do this) i start to get a little concerned.

it's that icky feeling again, the same one i've had for the last eight years: a clinton II administration thinks there's certain information i just don't need to know, and they're more than willing to tell me so. and it's not critical information, like where our nukes are hidden. it's information about who is influencing important policy decisions. it's information that affects how i'll choose to vote. and when i don't even need to call the obama campaign because that same information is prominently displayed on his website, i feel a glaring difference in style that might just make all the difference to me as a voter. which segues nicely to my second point...

2. the change candidate. no, not the same as my last point. but it is connected. my biggest problem with the present administration (and believe me, i've got many) is the blind adherence to one policy and the refusal to change even with a striking amount of evidence and public outcry suggesting that this isn't the way to go. i want a departure from that mentality over the next four (and hopefully eight) years.

it's true that being president requires you to set policy and to stick to that policy while seeing it through. but it also requires some reassessment of strategies and policies at each step of the way. obama seems willing to undertake these kinds of assessments, and moreover, to (see above) be more transparent about the decisions that he is making and more willing to take into account a variety of opinions before making a final decision. i worry about hillary mostly because i think that she can be very rigid in her approach and unwilling to admit that she might have made a mistake (why it really bothers me that she still won't say that voting for the war was a bad call -- but you may disagree with me on this point). anyway the upshot of this is that my concern is that she will approach things the same way this administration did, just starting out with policies that i happen to like quite a bit better. but extreme operating style isn't ever the best thing, no matter how much i like the initial policies.

3. the dynasty effect (aka billary). it really spoke to me when ted kennedy endorsed obama last week. here's a guy who has worked pretty closely with the last clinton administration and knows the inner workings of that machine as well as anyone in washington. he also happens to be an incredibly well-respected senator. and he's saying that, having lived through a clinton I administration, he's not really interested in the sequel.

i have to say that i'm not that interested either. as much as i thought certain things about clinton I were great, bill seems to have gone a little nuts lately. and there's something to be said for the theory that just as bush I fans saw this administration as a chance to get in and correct the mistakes they made on the first run (and add a substantial number of their own), clinton I fans want a shot at eight more years sans lewinskygate. but times have changed and just as the bush II administration was a bit anachronistic, the dynastic swing might stick us back in 1992...the problem being that it's not 1992 anymore.

there's a lot to be said for the considerable experience that both bill and hillary have in their unique positions. but experience only takes you so far, and can sometimes hinder a fresh perspective on events. i'm not sure if we really want to spend the next four or even eight years looking at the world through billary-colored glasses.

so there you go, that's my two cents. but as i pointed out to mcn earlier, this is just my primaryspeak, and i'm sure i'll have a whole new set of issues once we roll around to general time. i can't really believe i wrote all of this out. i also feel like it's not as articulate as it could have been. but i usually feel that way about things i write. oh well. it is late and this is but a blog. try not to be too critical...

and with that, it's back to climate change reports and fisheries subsidies! and on an unrelated note, i should build on a's post re: illness by announcing that this apartment is apparently a den of sickness. after spending six hours in the hospital last week getting a CT scan and having various IVs pumped into me to determine whether or not i had appendicitis (i didn't) i am relatively convinced that things have to start getting better in the health department because it doesn't get too much worse. knock on wood, i don't actually want to end up with appendicitis here.

okay, now climate change reports and fisheries subsidies.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

How Do the Doctors Not Get Sick?

I spent much of the past 36 hours doing things with and for people heavily afficted with what is minimally the flu and maximally the plague. Now, I happen to be experiencing persistent muscle aches and a feeling of utter exhaustion.

So here's the question: are we now going to relapse into a flu on top of the fading pneumonia?

Stay tuned. This just keeps getting more exciting by the day.

P.S. A diagram of the past month looks something like this:

Flu --> Sinus infection --> Pnemonia (being treated by rest+2 massive IV treatments and 2 weeks of antibiotics)--> Flu(?)

I write it out because it amuses the somewhat twisted part of me. Oddly enough, it seems that my parents don't appreciate my sense of humor...

Truer Words Were Never Spoken -

"...it is important to state publicly, that Palestinians are quite capable of recognizing their national leaders and honoring their memories. They are quite entitled to write their own history."

- PLO Mission

Well, carry on blokes. The Israelis appear to be letting you do a great job of that, as does the UN, UK, US and any number of entities with staunch revisionist tendencies.

The quote is from a release by the PLO Mission protesting comments by Rep. Tom Lantos that their warm commemoration of a PLFP founder and utter terrorist and murderer was, among other things, "asinine", "crude" and "insensitive." I don't agree with many of Lantos's positions, but this is an instance where his copious rough edges and I are in perfect sync.

His upcoming retirement is sad, all the more so because it is due to illness. There are few in the House outspoken, and as eloquent when outspoken as he.